10:49 AM

You know what really grinds my gears?

muzak: D'espairsray - "Brilliant"

I've got an offer for a job and it's everything that I want to do. I have some power, a little freedom, and I feel the thrill of the excitement of facing a new challenge. Whether it tanks or not, it will look fantastic on my CV, and and if it does well, shoot, it's just going to drag me right up there with it.

But....

I'll be taking a significant pay cut from what I'm making now. With the very real possibility of no benefits.

Don't get me wrong, I didn't go into journalism for the money. If I have to live without dental cleanings and birth control pills, I suppose now is a better time than any. But for them to ask me "well, how much do you love journalism?" is just annoying and inappropriate. I enjoy journalism. Not enough to starve for it.

It's so annoying when I have friends who are able to move into brand new condos that they purchased with their own money. Or buy new cars that they actually enjoy driving. Or go on vacations two or three times a year.

I like journalism. I want to continue doing it for a while. I don't want to be 30 years old and living at home with my mother calling me every night asking me when I'm coming back. I want to buy a car that won't make me flinch every time I turn the key in the ignition. And I'd like to go somewhere longer than a three-day road trip.

So yeah, I love journalism, but it's so unfair to ask me how much I love it when I have to put my life on hold while my friends fly ahead and leave me eating their dust.

10:54 AM

Battle of the beasts

muzak: Ellegarden - "salamander"

I don't proclaim to be a huge animal lover. But some of them just look so goddamn fierce that they command respect. I wouldn't want to tangle with any of these mofos.

BUT...

There must be other animals that would. So here's the question. If these 4-legged monsters were pitted against each other, who would win?

Contestant 1: the hippo
I dunno....it's ridiculously ugly, fat, slow, and dumb looking. But once it opens its mouth, it could probably swallow me whole. Points granted for being deceptively mellow, points deducted for...well, just because. I like Contestant Two better.

Contestant 2: the rhinoWho doesn't think the rhino is badass? Look at it. It's got a HORN. Full points given.

Winner: Rhino.

Contestant 3: the lion
The lion has this reputation of being the King of the Jungle. And Disney has done a remarkable job of packing that image neatly into my head. I love lions. If I had to be reincarnated as any land-bound animal, it would be the lion. But you know who looks more badass?

Contestant 4: the tiger
Even caged, the tiger looks like it's about to bite my face off. If I was a lion and woke up to this thing looking at me, I'd immediately realize the fuckedness of my situation.

Winner: This one's a toss-up. What can I say? I love my felines.

Yes, this post has no point other than to show off neat animals.

6:50 PM

No sir, I am not staring at your crotch

So with my work hours being pretty steady 9-5, I'm taking the good ol' TTC at pretty peak times. The subway culture is completely different during rush hour and it's all a new experience to me.

To begin with, since parking at the subway station is needed, I bought a Metropass for the first time. The intimidation level of using one of these things is a five-star level. So peep this, yo: People are rushing through the turnstiles while you fumble wildly with the card trying to figure out which side the stripe is on, and which direction it should be facing, and then your bag gets caught in the turn and your heels fall off and then everyone just points and stares and laughs while the world spins wildly out of control! Aaaaah!!!!!

Then there's the actual subway ride. I luck out and usually grab a seat since I'm at the beginning of the line. But the train gets packed pretty quickly. Subway riders, riddle me this: where do you look when you're surrounded by people?

No matter where I try to put my eyes, they'll end up on someone's face, crotch, boobs, leg, toes. And you know, it's rude to stare. I can't see through everyone to look at ads, so I end up rolling my eyes wildly until I finally land on some nondescript hand. Then I analyze every crack, pore and hangnail on that hand. And then I feel creepy.

So again, I ask, where do you focus?