coming out of the closet

muzak: Kanye West - "champion"

I wear granny panties. That's right. And I'm not ashamed of it.

It all began this past weekend when I did a load of laundry and mistakenly left a nice cottony white pair in the dryer. I'm not going to lie, I owned up to it. And any girl that tells you she never wears granny panties is a liar, I say, a liar!

I have an assortment of colourful undergarments ranging from the sexy lace barely-there to the cartoonish/striped/polkadot low-rises to the wedgie-inducing boyshorts. And yes, even the big butt-embracing underwear.

Before you jump to conclusions, which I'm sure you've already done, you jerk, granny panties are ridiculously comfortable. Dudes, let's see you wear a thong every day. For those blah days, or the days on the rag, the grans are convenient. And, I've found, the quality is longer lasting than other cute underwear.

So fellas, there you have it. I bet even the sexiest of the sex goddesses has a pair in her repertoire. It's the same as having a simple white cotton t-shirt in your closet. And if people can wear Uggs, Crocs, and other odious trend-du-jours in public, then girls shouldn't be given flack for wearing the equivalent of men's briefs under their jeans where nobody can see them.