9:56 PM

Girly exercises? Nay!

Gilgamesh - "asking why"

In an effort to retain some semblance of physical fitness after a day of blobbing at work and munching on holiday treats Because I'm such a dedicated hard worker who loves a challenge, I've decided to try some different workouts on video.

I used to scoff (wow I scoff a lot) at aerobic videos. If you don't bounce, sweat, grunt, and bang weights around, it can't be hard work. So I decided to try the workout that the contestants from the Biggest Loser have to go through, and I was ready to scoff some more.

Oh, silly silly Jo, so ignorant.

I almost died. That workout is hard! There are no breaks, and it's a constant go go go circuit. The cardio portion was fine, but apparently my strength sucks. Unscoff!

So then, thinking that I should get a breather and a nice big stretch after the killer circuit, I thought I'd try yoga.

Oh, silly silly Jo, so ignorant.

I don't think yoga is suited for me. My mind was bouncing everywhere despite my best efforts to focus on something calm and relaxing, and my eyes refused to stay shut, or even half shut. My muscles were shaking with exhaustion five minutes into the poses. The televised instructor is talking while her body's twisted inhumanly, and she's like "breathe! hold! relax! focus! breathe! calm and centred!" and I'm like "meeting tomorrow, last minute holiday shopping, lunch date, breathe breathe breathe, it's a deep burn!, don't forget to print stuff out and get it signed, okay eff this noise." And I gave up and rolled over to my couch, grabbed a beer and ripped open a bag of Doritos. Okay, by beer, I meant water, and by Doritos, I meant nothing. But I gave up. Clearly, I am not of a calm and focused temperament! Ugh!

Never again will I scoff at these so-called "girly" exercises! Lesson learned, I'm going back to my bouncing, sweating, grunting and weight-banging. Mind out of gutter, people.

And in case I don't do this before the 25th, happy nondenomenational holiday, everyone!

4 comments:

S said...

I didn't like regular yoga either - I had the same problem as you, I couldn't stop thinking about other things - but hot yoga is AMAZING. It's hard, especially at first, but because it's difficult you can't really think about anything else. And I also find I'm much more flexible in a 40 degree room.

Eric said...

Forget about yoga and all those other bullshit excercises. I have the PERFECT solution for you:

1) Cut a hole in a box
2) Put your junk in the box
3) Wait... was this post about Christmas?

Yoga can get pretty intense, it's hard to hold the poses for a while.

Tell you what, you hold the "crane" pose and I'll make soothing ocean noises so that you can focus.

Ju said...

DDR works magicks -_-d

MystikRave said...

Yoga is hard, but once you finally get your racing mind to slow down and focus it ain't all that bad. For me the hard part is staying balanced... I tend to fall over, like a lot. ^^;;

But yea as the person called Ju said... DDR works magic.