10:54 AM

Battle of the beasts

muzak: Ellegarden - "salamander"

I don't proclaim to be a huge animal lover. But some of them just look so goddamn fierce that they command respect. I wouldn't want to tangle with any of these mofos.


There must be other animals that would. So here's the question. If these 4-legged monsters were pitted against each other, who would win?

Contestant 1: the hippo
I dunno....it's ridiculously ugly, fat, slow, and dumb looking. But once it opens its mouth, it could probably swallow me whole. Points granted for being deceptively mellow, points deducted for...well, just because. I like Contestant Two better.

Contestant 2: the rhinoWho doesn't think the rhino is badass? Look at it. It's got a HORN. Full points given.

Winner: Rhino.

Contestant 3: the lion
The lion has this reputation of being the King of the Jungle. And Disney has done a remarkable job of packing that image neatly into my head. I love lions. If I had to be reincarnated as any land-bound animal, it would be the lion. But you know who looks more badass?

Contestant 4: the tiger
Even caged, the tiger looks like it's about to bite my face off. If I was a lion and woke up to this thing looking at me, I'd immediately realize the fuckedness of my situation.

Winner: This one's a toss-up. What can I say? I love my felines.

Yes, this post has no point other than to show off neat animals.


Eric said...

Rhino better then Hippo?! I think not madam!

Points deducted from Rhino for a) having a stubby short peni... i mean horn. b) for being a fat slow merkin

Points awarded to Hippo for a) having giant fangly teeth (see one poking out in the pic?) and b) for being a walking TANK. That's right.

Clearly the hippo would slash the rhino in half and still have time to give me a ride around the jungle. Bomb.

The lion is cool, but look at that tiger! Holy shit man, I would not want to mess with it. It's BRISTLING. The full picture does it more justice.

Great pics btw! I like the cage around the tiger.